Jealousy is one of our self-created unpleasant emotions that arise from unhealthy comparisons between two or more people. Emotions mean an energy that comes to your mind to make you feel bad or good. So, if you transform the energy for a good purpose, you can feel well and can live a stress-free life also.
Jealousy is an emotion that restricts you to accept yourself as you are and to accept others as they are. In the prison of jealousy, you will live in an oxygen-less life. Jealousy not only harms you, but also ruins your relationships. Sometimes comparison inspires us. But comparison in a relationship just ruins it.
You can use the energy of jealousy for a better purpose if you can change some of your habits. These are the five habits that I mentioned in the title.
5 Habits that Transform Jealousy into Compassion:
Face the person:
Don’t try to escape from the person to whom you compare with yourself. Face him/her. Talk to him/her in a humble way though you may feel some hesitations in communication. Try to focus on the matter, which makes you feel jealous. It’s not easy. But if you do that, it can protect the relationship from breaking up. Avoiding the person or the matter only increases the risk of break up.
Appreciate the person:
Appreciating the person on his achievement, rather than maintaining the silence of jealousy. It increases your value to him. It maintains the closeness of the relationships. Suppose, you and your friend are preparing for a competitive examination. Your friend cracked it, but you couldn’t. Then a feeling of jealousy create a distance between you and your friend. Don’t let it increase. Go to your friend, appreciate him for his achievement and discuss the matter, how does he achieve that and why didn’t you crack that? It melts the ice of jealousy and creates the ground of compassion.
Praising the person:
You cannot imagine the magic of praising others, especially the persons to whom you feel jealous. I’m not saying about oiling or false praise for a selfish intention. Praise them on the matter that they deserve rather than making the suffocated environment of jealousy within you. Suppose, you are feeling jealous of your girlfriend or to your wife for her certain qualities. Whenever you face her you feel jealous of her. If you are not working on that, it will ruin your relationship. Just praise her from your heart for those qualities. Then watch the magic. You will be more special and more valuable to her. The direction of the wave of your relationship will be changed. Love and empathy will enrich your relationship. You can use praise in any relationship. It increases your value. Since everyone wants praise, but few of us can give it.
Showing interest in learning:
To cope up jealousy, you can also show your interest in learning on the matter of feeling jealous of the person. That means; you respect his /her qualities rather than comparing yourself to him/her. You can learn something from that person which can help you to reach that level or it may help you to know one’s struggle towards his achievements. Suppose, a girl has an average figure and she is not much bother about that. But, when she watches one of her average looking friends makes a slim and sexy figure, she starts to feel jealous of her. She can transform this jealousy to the compassion if she shows some interest in learning by asking her friend like that, “how could you get this awesome figure. Please give me some tips. I’ll also try that.” In this way either she can learn some tips from her friend or she can create a ground of compassion and love between their relationships.
Dissolving your Ego:
Your ego and your true self are completely different things. The true self is shielded by the ego. Happiness belongs to the true-Self. Ego is responsible for our unhappiness and external happiness. There is a saying of Albert Einstein that “More the knowledge, lesser the ego, lesser the knowledge, more the ego.” So, true knowledge can break the wall of ego. When ego dissolves, unhappiness cannot bother you. So, whenever you feel jealous of somebody, try to ignore your ego and accept his/her qualities or achievement in a positive way. Then you can understand comparison is totally baseless. Each person is unique and incomparable. You are just yourself not a dummy of another. Everyone is original. This feeling helps you to get rid of jealousy and other comparisons.
One can use these five habits at a time or any of these to transform jealousy into love and compassion. Jealousy is a very powerful emotion because by this emotion you can see the good qualities of others. But, when you compare those things to yours, you become disappointed and finally it snatches your happiness. So, transform this feeling into compassion and enjoy the happiness and a stress-free life.
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