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Understanding is the Key of a Healthy Relationship

Understanding is the Key of a Healthy Relationship

Understanding is the foundation of any relationship.  It’s because a perfect relationship is built by accepting each other’s imperfections, and understanding is the beginning step of accepting each other’s imperfections. A relationship is not only ended by  misunderstanding,  but it is also broken by lack of understanding.


Understanding is a big issue in any relationship. It depends on listening and observing each other, equally. But, we talk more than to heed. That is the problem. We don’t try to understand another. We just assume something based on our perception and become judgmental to another. Then, we mercilessly throw those judgments to each other. That breaks the harmony of a relationship. Finally, the kinship is ruined by lack of understanding. Where there is proper understanding, there is no place for judgment.

They are so understanding with each other

Understanding needs proper communication and it is vice versa. Communication doesn’t only mean talking with each other, continuously. A good communication is going on by talking and listening, proportionately. It needs an open mind to receive other’s views and to observe those from his or her standpoint. In this way, a proper communication constructs the base of understanding. When there is a proper understanding within a relationship, the individuals of it, can communicate with each other even in the silence. Understanding makes us kind to each other. We can sense each other’s problems with full of compassion, that gets a healthy relationship. When we can see each other in this manner, we will be able to live with each other’s imperfections. Only, then a relationship of two imperfect individuals goes on, harmoniously. Thus, Understanding is the key of a healthy relationship.

This post is written in response to the WP Daily prompt- Understanding





Motherhood doesn’t only mean carrying a child for 10 months in womb and giving birth to a child. It’s a responsibility and a commitment for at least  18 to 20 years. Only a mother knows her dedication and sacrifice towards her children. Mother is like a shelter. She gives shadow to her child on a sunny day like a big tree. She shows light in the darkest night to her child. She protects her child in the stormy night like a shed.  She gives warmth to her child by burning in the fire. A child hardly realizes her dedications and sleepless efforts to bring up him or her.
So, bringing up is more difficult than giving birth a child. Giving birth is only 10 months curriculum, but bringing up is for 18 years program.

People are spending huge amount of money to be a parents of their biological child. They think delivering a child from the womb is motherhood or parenthood. But, they don’t understand the happiness of motherhood is not only giving birth of a child. The real happiness and satisfaction of motherhood come when a mother makes a true human being from an innocent child. A child cannot remember his or her days in the womb. He or she only remember her the warmth of the mother’s lap  that means the shelter, love and company and comfort, which (s)he receives only from his or her mother. It is irrelevant to the biological child or adopted child.

Motherhood is accepting the child as (s)he is. (S)he may be challenged, maybe less intelligent, may not be  her preferable gender or may not be her biological offspring.  The child can grow naturally when his or her mother accepts him or her with his/her limitations.

So, don’t be worried if you cannot bear a child in your uterus.  Any woman, who has the proper biological system to deliver a child, can give birth. But, everyone cannot be a Mother. A mother is not one who gives birth a child, but she is one who brings up her child and performs her duties and deeds with full of affection by accepting the child as (s)he is.


Wishing Happy Mother’s Day to all who are bringing up their children and who have done it already with full of devotion, commitment and sacrifice.

Photo credit: ieatbitchesforbreakfast


Talks on Relationship

Talks on Relationship

This time, I want to share my thoughts on relationship by making small quotes on it. I assemble those quotes in a youtube video. Please watch this video and share your thoughts on it. Thank you.

Watch the video of Talks on Relationship.

10 Ways To Detoxify Your Mind

10 Ways To Detoxify Your Mind

Detoxification of Mind:

Detoxification or detox is a process of releasing toxic component from our body. Like our body, our mind is also intoxicated by the toxic emotions and negative thoughts. Every emotion is the energy. So, a balance among the every emotion makes the mind beautiful and peaceful. If this balance is disturbed, the mind begins to suffer with stress, worries and unhappiness. This stress leads to search happiness outside, whereas it is within us. The toxicity of the unhealthy emotions like anger, hate, jealousy, greed, panic, frustrations, depressions etc., intoxicated our innate happiness. So, we need to detoxify our mind. Only then, we can find our innate happiness and peace of mind.

10 Ways To Detoxify Your Mind:


There are several processes of detoxification of the mind. Here, I describe the ten major ways to detoxify the mind.

1.     Releasing toxins:

Those toxic emotions should be released from the mind. But, don’t throw those to other’s mind in a raw form. Suppose, you are getting angry for some reasons. It raises your stress. Your mind will always try to release this toxin. To get relief from the stress, you just throw it to another person and he just follows the same procedure for his relief. In this way, anger toxicity is transmitted person to person. But, if you release your anger in some of your activities (it’s better to say which you love to do) like writing, dancing, painting, singing, jogging, cooking, walking or the works which need a huge energy (and you like to do that), it cannot spread toxicity in the environment. But, keep in mind, whatever you do, do alone. Try to use the tremendous energy of the powerful emotions, like anger and hate, in a purposeful work.

2.     Transformation of Toxin:

Some toxic emotions like jealousy, guilty of mistakes, Hate, you can transform into some good emotions. Suppose, you are jealous of your friend, who has a brighter career than you, and feeling intoxicated by the toxicity of jealousy. If you stop comparing you to your friend and practice the habit of appreciating the person rather than destroying the relationship, you can transform your jealousy to your empathy. Like this way, you can also transform the hate into forgiveness by accepting  the person as he/she is and learning a lesson from the incident . In this way, the energy of the toxic emotions will convert into the energy of performing some good work.

3.     Habits of learning- Innate Immunity:

This is a habit, which acts as our Innate immune system. It protects you from the exotoxin   (the  toxic emotions come from the external incidents).  If you practice the habit of learning from every small and big incident of life, the toxicity of those incidents couldn’t harm you. The lessons, which you have learned from the incidents will enrich you more. Suppose, if you try to learn from your failure rather than feeling frustrated, you can use the failure as your stepping stone.

4.     Self-value- Acquired Immunity:

Society has a tendency to release the toxin like panic, frustrations, negative thoughts  in the raw form to the environment , that means to other persons. These toxins can affect badly to the persons, who has no self-value. They see the poisonous toxins as the medicines for their improvement as they don’t know themselves. So, one should give value to oneself. Otherwise, one cannot fight with these kinds of exotoxins. It acts like an Acquired immunity. People make this system strong by the repetitive attack and exposure to these toxins.

5.     Introspection- Antitoxin:

Sadness or depression like emotions, generally distract people from the external environment and make the people less energetic. If one accepts this intoxication as the opportunity of self-growth, it helps one in introspection.  So, you can save your life from losing in a world of depression, by this way. Introspection is a very good antitoxin to detoxify the mind from many kinds of exotoxins like criticism, negative thoughts, wrong guideline, blind faith and so many toxins those badly intoxicate the mind.  So, these types of toxic emotions can create  antitoxin in the mind and then detoxify it.

6.     Patience-Innate Immune System:

This is also a type of the innate immune system. It helps us to keep patience in any unexpected situation and observe it properly.  People with this quality cannot get affected by the environmental toxin easily. One can adopt this nature by increasing his tolerance level of mind by continuous practice. Then, you can say it, as an acquired immunity.

7.     Dissolving the Ego:

Ego is highly responsible for toxicity in mind. Usually, we cannot understand it well until we find our true self. But, we can understand its presence by our pride or “I-ness”. Pride is a kind of toxin that not destroy  the person only, but also ruins his/her relationships.  It intoxicates the mind such a bad way, that the person forgets almost all of his/ her good qualities and emotions. The funny thing is that the pride intoxicated persons cannot realize their toxicity until they are ruined by their pride. So, it’s better to be conscious of the presence of the pride after every success or achievement. If it arises, try to dissolve that at the beginning. Otherwise, it will rise like a giant and finally kill you.

8.     Antitoxin- Self-praise:

Toxins,  like extreme criticism, the pressure of high expectations, negative thoughts, which are coming from the outside, can create a severe level of depression toxicity in one’s mind. This kind of toxicity kills the hope of living anymore or it can cause mental death. Sometimes this toxicity also leads committing suicide. In this case, self-praise acts as a chemotherapeutic medicine, which is formed from the poison of the snake. Self-praise, itself the  pride and kills our original good nature in normal condition. But, in the critical condition, it acts as a lifesaving antitoxin to detoxify tremendous toxicity in the mind.

9.     Meditation-Preventive measure:

Meditation is a good measure of preventing toxicity. But, a toxic mind cannot meditate well. So, if you practice meditation on a daily basis, environmental toxicity cannot intoxicate you easily.

10. Acceptance:

It is the ultimate way to detoxify our mind. It also prevents toxicity in the mind. Think positive and accept the life as it is. Everyone is unique. You cannot compare yourself to another person. So, appreciate the good nature and accept the bad nature of the people. Don’t allow the others interference in your life. Live the life in your way. This is the acceptance and ultimate medicine or preventive measure of toxicity in the mind.


Toxicity in mind is very common in our daily life. So, either we should do some preventive measure to protect our mind from the environmental toxicity, or we should practice the detoxifying measure to detoxify our mind. Practice these measures of detoxification to keep your innate happiness and peace in your life.

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Toxicity In The Mind: 14 Destructive Nature of Toxic Mind

Toxicity In The Mind: 14 Destructive Nature of Toxic Mind

Toxicity in the mind:

A perfect mind is balanced with our positive and negative emotions. If this balance is changed, the peace of mind is hampered.  We often call it as stress. However, the mind has its own control mechanism to maintain this balance by its positive and healthy emotions like love, compassion, forgiveness etc., which help in resilience.  For this reason, we still feel love for ourselves in spite of the unwanted and unexpected situations of outside.

Sometimes, the rustic change (read increase) of any negative emotions like hate, anger, greed, jealousy, pride, fear, frustrations etc., can demolish the total balance system of mind and control the mind in its own way. Mind loses its natural and innate features of love, peace and happiness completely. Then, these emotions act as the toxic agents of mind and intoxicated our beautiful mind. Like our body, our mind is intoxicated by the excessive rise of these unwanted and unhealthy emotions. In this way, these types’ negative emotions and thoughts create toxicity in the mind.


Why does a mind get intoxicated?

The toxic agents of the mind are panic, anger, jealousy, hate, pride, frustrations, depression; negative self-talks and so on, which we see as the negativity of mind. But these are not actually negative emotions. These types of emotions create negativity or toxicity in mind because we cannot use them purposefully.

When a toxin is entered into the body, we should release it from the body. But, what we do with our mind? Either we suppress them in our mind or release them in such a way that the opposite persons get intoxicated by our toxins. So, a cycle of intoxication continuing from person to person.  As a result, emotional balance is hampered by these internal and external influences. The toxin like stress, worry, sadness and ego-ness etc., are released from the toxic substances of the mind and intoxicated it.

14 destructive Nature of toxic mind:

When the mind is intoxicated, it not only harms the person specifically, but it also changes the total circumstances of the person with its toxicity. The destructive effects of intoxicated mind are as follows.

  1. A toxic mind always produces negative and harmful thoughts, which ruin the capability of thinking something in a simple way. Things become complicated when it enters into as toxic mind.
  2. Toxicity in mind also changes the perceptions of the victim. When the mind becomes intoxicated, one perceives everything in a negative way.
  3. It compels one to do awful and unexpected activities. That’s why; sometimes we pass comment about a known person, who is intoxicated by the toxic emotions, “He is totally changed/ Money and fame change him completely.”
  4. An excessive level of toxicity in mind changes one’s personality.
  5. A person with a toxic mind cannot keep up any healthy relationship. Toxicity is always disturbing his or her relationships. Breaking up is very common for the toxic-minded people.
  6. A toxic mind is always suffering in an insecurity complex. Maybe, it is one of the causes of this intoxication.
  7. Toxicity in mind leads mental illness. If it persists for a long time, a person having the toxic mind becomes the psychopath.
  8. Some toxicity leads social withdrawal of the person.
  9. A toxic mind has a tendency to spread toxicity in its surrounding environment. People, who are surrounding the toxic-minded person, have a chance to get intoxicated by that toxicity if they have no control over
  10. When the toxic-minded people become the parent, the parenting becomes intoxicated by their toxicity. The innocent children become the unfortunate victim of this toxicity.
  11.  Sometimes, prolong and excessive toxicity in mind leads losing of social position and professional degradation of a person with excessive toxicity in the mind.
  12. Toxicity snatches the peace and happiness of mind. Unnecessary stress fills the mind completely.
  13. A toxic mind loses its emotional energy. Even, the positive energy of the mind is converted into the toxic energy. So, the people with toxic mind become less energetic and use their all energy in spreading toxicity in the surrounding environment.
  14. Humanity is murdered by the toxicity in the mind.


Toxicity in the mind destructs the person and his/her relationships. Not only that, but it also spreads the toxicity  in other peoples’ mind. That is a most dangerous thing because it kills humanity. So, we should be aware of the toxicity in the mind. If it is detected, we should detoxify it as soon as possible. After all, we all deserve happiness and peace.

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[To be continued]

Recycle & Reuse of the Waste of Human Mind

Recycle & Reuse of the Waste of Human Mind

recycle+mindRecycle and Reuse are the most common environmental process to eliminate the waste from the environment. The human mind is also like the environment.  If we can see our mind in the mirror, we can’t look at the mirror for a minute. Since the garbage of society destroys the beauty of our mind.  That’s why we are always wondering for happiness, whereas it belongs to us.

Happiness is suppressed under the garbage of your mind. When you transform this huge dump of garbage into the useful things, you can enjoy the happiness of transformations. This is called recycle and reuse of the waste of mind. Day by day, the garbage is increasing in our mind. To decrease the load, we just throw it from our house to our neighbour’s house and this cycle continues shamelessly.

What is the Garbage?

Garbage is nothing but our unhealthy emotions like anger, hate, jealousy, frustration, rejection and so many negative thoughts. When you feel you are overloaded by those, you simply throw it to other’s mind. Suppose, in your office, your boss insults you for some reasons and you came back home by suppressing your anger. Your wife serves you dinner. Unfortunately, you find  out that your favourite chicken item is slightly less boiled. That heats your anger and it’s blasted out. You shout on your wife and you don’t want to hear anything from your wife. Finally, you reject the dinner, which makes your wife angry. Your little daughter watches this scene between her Mom and Dad and she is getting frightened by both of your reactions. She starts to cry in loud. Then, your wife shouts on the little girl by coming in anger. In this way, a family peace is totally distorted by throwing the anger in a cycle. Here, the anger is garbage.

But, if you release the anger in another way rather than suppressing it within your mind, the anger of your boss cannot disturb your family peace. In this case, you can do more hard work in office to release your anger or can do a little understanding of your anger. If the fault is yours, you should apologize to your boss. If  you have no fault, you should ignore the anger by coming in compassion like “he is a poor guy, either he is jealous of me and just want to show me down or he simply discharges his own load of anger.” Why should you carry other’s load of garbage?  Just, look at your child. She is neither carrying the load of that anger nor throwing it back to continue the cycle. She released it by crying (as she knows only this technique of release) and then she started playing by forgetting it. Her play and activities make both of you happy. In this way, the little girl transforms your anger into your happiness.

She can do it because she is not loaded by the garbage of society. She is happy with herself and providing happiness to the people around you. But, when she will learn from the society that she has to suppress the emotions to maintain the so-called formality, she’ll just forget the magic of transformation.

Reduce, Recycle and Reuse:

If we can keep the habit of the transformation of unhealthy emotions, we can get a stress-free life. Every emotion is full of energy. So, if we learn to recycle the garbage of mind, we can reuse it for a constructive purpose. This is called the transformation of negative energy into positive energy for constructive work.

So, when you will experience any unhealthy emotion, just try to release it in a positive way or in constructive purpose. Emotions like anger, jealousy, anxiety, and hate are carrying tremendous energy. You shouldn’t waste it like  the garbage. Don’t go in suppressing that energy, they are not easily available. Discharge those in a constructive way. If you love to write, write something at that time. If you are a passionate blogger, write some fabulous, energetic blog post. If you like dancing or jogging or singing, go for that. Keep in mind that you have to do some energetic activity. But, don’t go for listening to the music or reading a storybook (even you cannot do those that time). If you can’t find any energetic activity, just go for a walk. After all, health is wealth.

At the time of less energetic emotions like frustration, sadness, depression, etc., you shouldn’t waste your time by drinking the alcohol bottle after bottle or taking antidepressants/ sleeping pills. Solitude comes, when energy escapes. Accept the solitude. It restricts all the distractions of your mind from worldly activities, which helps you to focus on yourself, that is called introspections.

As much as you practice it in this way, your mind will be trained to reduce the amount of these unhealthy emotions.


Do you know lotus flower? It is a divine flower to the Hindus and the Buddhists. It is portrayed, Vishnu and Lakshmi sit on the lotus flower, Buddha sits on a lotus flower. This has significance. The Lotus flower is the perfect example of “Transformations”. It is found in the muddy and murky water of a pond or lake, which spreads a pungent odour. But, when the lotus bloomed it spreads beauty and fragrance. The muddy water is the symbol of the waste of our mind and the lotus flower is the symbol of beauty, happiness and peace, which you can say ‘positivity’. The pungent odour of muddy water, that is the negative thoughts transform into the fragrance of lotus, that is positivity or constructive work. When you will transform all the garbage of the mind into the best and essential products of life like a lotus flower, you will rediscover your happiness and can spend a stress-free life. 

The Three R’s (Reduce, Reuse, and Recycle) of eliminating waste from the environment are also applicable for eliminating the waste of human minds. So, keep practicing the process of reducing, reuse and recycling of the garbage of your mind and clean the mind. Automatically, you will enjoy a happy and stress-free life.


[Photo courtesy: Free desktoop Background]

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Why do you try to impress others?

Why do you try to impress others?

Do you know what is the greatest prison of our life? We are always concerned about what other people are thinking about us. This thought makes us imprisoned within our unhappiness. To enjoy the freedom of life, one should  completely get over this thought. As much as you try to impress others, you will be confined within your self-made prison. So, no need to impress others to get the importance because three reasons:

  1. Perception: It varies person to person.  It’s not necessary that your perception will be same to others.  As much as you try to reach other people’s perception, you become tired and finally, you will get frustrated with your life.
  2. Satisfaction Level: Most of the people don’t know exactly their satisfaction level. They want things by comparing you with other people without considering situations and time. If you ever try to achieve their satisfaction level, you couldn’t do that. I’m sorry to say that. Since there is no exact limit of satisfaction and dissatisfaction.
  3. Expectations: We have no limit of expectations. We have less hope but have much expectation. So, if you try to fulfil someone’s expectation, you couldn’t be the exactly expected person to him/her. Since, the expectation is increasing at a rate of geometric progression.  If someone finds out that you are trying to fulfil his/her expectations, he/ she becomes very desperate to want more and more from you without considering your pain and your limit.


When you are trying to impress others, you are dictated by other’s command.  It forces you to live a dual life. That means, you are thinking one thing and saying another thing to the people or doing another thing for people. You are more concerned to say something, which is more convenient and comfortable for other people, whereas you are thinking totally different about that. You are very conscious of doing a thing that is easily accepted and admired by others, whereas you have a wish to do a completely opposite thing. So, living a dual life means losing freedom of life. Since you are always dictated by others command by ignoring your inner voice. The inner voice is very dangerous. It’s always haunting you like this way – do you really want that? Are you truly happy with that? Is it your morality? Are you being untrue to your nature and so many questions? Then you might feel suffocated by your own self-made prison.  For this reason, you have to experience tremendous mental pressure like depressions, anxiety, frustrations. Since, one cannot enjoy his morality, when he feels that he is being untrue to his nature. It seems like that to do beautiful things; you have to live a dreadful life.

So, stop living this dreadful dual life. A human birth is bliss to everyone. Live for yourself once and enjoy the freedom of life. Life is beautiful. You don’t have to try to make it beautiful.  Just accept it beautifully. Then, you can find out the beauty of the life. Just try to be moral for yourself. You can deceive everyone but not the inner voice or your true self. It starts nagging if you go against your nature. Nature of everyone is not similar. That’s why we are looking for like-minded people or try to choose partners close to our nature. We always try to be truthful to ourselves. A circle of similar-nature people helps us to stay in our own nature. It makes us feel comfortable within our circle. But, wise people always say that life starts beyond your comfort zone.

So, we have to gain the little courage to begin the journey of our life. Courage comes from our morality, from our truthfulness. It’s not necessary that we find similar minded people in everywhere of our travel. If we come in contacts of dissimilar-minded people, we should accept them as they are. Since, we cannot change their perceptions,  satisfactions and expectations. But, you can make them understand that like them you too have a particular nature, that is your morality. No one gives you the responsibility to fulfil their perceptions, satisfactions and expectations.  You just do your duty truthfully and are moral to yourself because at the end of the day you have to give an answer to yourself, not others. There are no places of excuses and explanations to your conscience.

This practice is quite difficult, but not more than living a life with a dual nature. It’s true that there must be a fear of rejections and a chance of being alone. But, those are not permanent. We need to respect ourselves first.  If you know to respect and give value to yourself, people around you must learn to respect you as you are.


Don’t try to waste your time to impress others by decreasing your morality and ignoring your true nature. It only gives you pain and unhappiness. Try to listen to your inner voice and satisfy yourself. You cannot get any beautiful and happy life by ignoring your inner voice or conscience. Living a dual life only makes your life ugly.  If you want importance from other, try to give importance to yourself first. Only then, you can learn to give value others by not impressing them.  So, break the wall of your self-made prison and enjoy the happiness of freedom.

Photo Courtesy:

[I’m grateful to the book, “I am that: Talks on the Isha Upanishad” by Osho for writing the content]


If love becomes infectious

If love becomes infectious

heart plate1

Photo courtesy: Steam for institutions of higher education


Love can win everything. We are seeking love in pursuit of happiness. Without love even a billionaire cannot be happy, personally.  Love is the core of happiness. Happiness comes from your love. When a thing gives you happiness, you must love the thing.  In the same way, the thing, you love, can make you happy.


Happiness is inherent in human and it’s not dependent upon the external causes. You can find a nice proof of innate  When you try to find happiness outside, grief comes as an interest on your loan of happiness.  Happiness is like a bubble. When you see it, it makes you happy. But, when you want to grip it, it will blast. So, if you want to find boundless and everlasting happiness, you have to love yourself first. To love yourself,  you have to know yourself first. You as much as you reveal the mystery of yourself, you will fall in love with yourself.  Happiness starts from here.

Love & Happiness:

Love means acceptance. Acceptance means, seeing your capabilities and limitations as your part of life and acknowledging those as beautiful.  This is a love for yourself and your happiness is you are beautiful.  This is your inner joy. Now you are full of love.

If love becomes Infectious:

What will happen if you transmit your love to others? Everyone will be infected by love. That means happiness will be everywhere. Can you imagine the world, which is full of happiness?  We cannot imagine that. Are the reasons,  we always try to confine our love within us and try to extract love from others.  We only want to demand, we only want to extract happiness from others. We think that we will stand in our position with our minimum amount of love and someone will come to give us some love and happiness.  If everyone thinks so, who will transmit the love. So, be the one of the infectious organism and infect others by your love.

How to inoculate love:

 It is very simple.  A beneficial bacteria Lactobacillus Sp. produce curd. A curd is the source of Lactobacillus sp.  To make curd we inoculate Lactobacillus sp. by adding curd in pre-boiled milk.  After a certain time, milk becomes curd. Just like that when you are full of love and happiness, inoculate your love to another person, then the person will be infected by love and the love will help him to find the happiness. This is the magic of love.

  • Love yourself and become the inoculum of love.
  • Then try it with your close ones like your lover, your best friend, your parents and siblings, your sons/daughters rather than extracting love from them. One should move forward first.
  • Accept their Capabilities, needs, limitations as yours, by your love. Love will play a magic.
  • Don’t need to go far, just do it with your closed ones. When they will be filled with love they infect others. In this way, love will be transmitted to everyone. Beautiful relationships will be flourished everywhere. People find happiness within themselves.


 If love becomes infectious, it brings happiness.  Negative emotions like Grief, miseries jealousy, anger, anxiety, terror etc . , are felt because we see these as anti-happiness and we try to find happiness outside, which is like the bubble. These negative emotions dominate our life so powerfully that they act as antidotes of love. That is the reason why  we always try to extract love from others. But, we all are in the same conditions of less love.  So, the only alternative of happiness is looking at you.  Know yourself. Love yourself. Accept yourself. If you accept yourself as you are, you will not be disturbed by rejections, failure, loss types of grief, because you will feel that you are complete.  You are full of love. Then, no antidote can work on yourself. Nothing can stop you to love yourself. If you love yourself, you can infect other by your love.  In this way, love can be infectious.  If love becomes infectious, happiness will be everywhere.

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