A relationship comes into our life as a first baby of a couple, with lots of joy, hope, and dreams. And it goes like a broken dream of dawn with a pinch of sadness and a faint light of hope with a small question mark. But, how long it stays, it should play a beautiful melody in our lives. That means; when a relationship gives us comfort and shelter in life and makes us cool or cheerful even in the time of huge stress is a melodious relationship. It will play melody only when a harmony is maintained between the two involved in it.
A love affair comes and goes on its own way. One cannot hold it alone by his/ her own efforts. What we can hold is love for the person to whom we were attached. Not even, a hate as well.
So, what can we do to make it beautiful, peaceful and melodious, to maintain harmony in an affair? There are eight things that secretly maintain this harmony. If we know those well, we can consciously control those to make a harmonious union.
8 things that secretly maintained the harmony of a Relationship:
- Mutual Dependency:
A relationship ends, when the people, involved in it, start to count their giving and taking. We forget that we came into this world with empty hands. We can give only to the extent that we have gained from here. Otherwise, we have nothing to give to anyone. Just see the nature. Harmony is maintained everywhere in nature. Like, a relationship between flora and soil. The plant receives nutrient and water from soil and soil produces those by collecting the raw materials from the decomposed leaves, flower and fruits. In summer, when there is a scarcity of water in nature, a plant can’t grow well and become unable to supply the raw materials to the soil for making the manures. On the other hand, Soil is also dependent on the plant as the plant prevents soil erosion. In this way, a mutual dependency is maintained within each other. One thing I also want to clear that taking and receiving are completely different things. Taking is more related to the opportunity, whereas, receiving relates to acceptance. So, just concentrate on your giving. Your giving is your receiving.
If you truly care for someone, you can understand his/her some unsaid words like some small wishes, some little dreams, likes, and dislikes. When you start to value them, you will be valuable from him/ her. It’s human nature that we always prefer to stay with someone who thinks that we are valuable and important. In short, everyone wants importance. So, as long as, this ‘valuable’ feeling stays between each other, the association grows in a harmonic motion.
Trust is the basic thing of every relationship. Maintaining this is hard, but without this, no relationship can exist. we can maintain it by talking about your worries and doubts, clearly with our partner in a very healthy way. A couple should try to be faithful to each other. Both should be careful about their small lies because sometimes a small lie can bring a big heartache.
- An urge of solving the problems:
Anger, loose talks, misunderstandings, not understandings, clashing of views, stubbornness, conflicts, blaming each other etc. are common problems in every relationship. Those happen and those are solved by the urge of the couple to solve the problems between them. These are the important parts of maintaining harmony. A melody would be great when it is composed of up and down notes, but it feels boring when it plays in a monotonic motion. The melody of a relationship will stay harmonious as long as there will be an urge of solving these problems and being close to each other again.
Ignorance is the worst punishment of any association. It also acts as a signal of breaking the harmony. You can ignore some of the activities of your partner that you don’t like. But, ignoring the person completely is the sign of ‘breaking’. It says, “your role is over, you may go now”. So, maintaining a respect for each other is very essential. No one can be perfect. But, everybody has some good and bad qualities. we should try to find out the good ones by our impartial views for each other and respect those qualities.
There is no place of ego in a relationship. There is nothing wrong in bowing down to a person you love. Ego acts as a killer of a kinship. Einstein said, “More the knowledge lesser the ego, lesser the knowledge more the ego.” It not only breaks the harmony, it ruins the union, completely, as well. So, keep your ego away from your relationship and maintain the harmony. Where there is love, there is no place for ego.
- Support and Empathy:
These two are very much linked with each other. Basically, we are all alone. We always find some support from our relationship. Support means not a blind encouragement. Support means when someone falls, holding him/her tightly. Support means inspiring. Support means giving shelter in a rainy season. Harmony is running after the support. Support comes from empathy for each other.
- Unconditional love:
Either love creates a relationship or a relationship creates love. The association will be melodious when it is bound with love. The word ‘unconditional’ means there is no counting for giving, taking, caring, helping and loving. This ‘unconditional love‘ makes the relationship easier. That’s mean, you cannot think before doing anything for your partner or the other person in the relationship. Even, it makes you feel happy for giving and receiving too.
A relationship is expired when it loses its harmony. If we try to continue the relationship after the expiry date, it will not move. If we look at nature around us. We will see the disasters, hurdles, misdeeds come into nature, again and again, in spite of that, it follows a rhythm to maintain its harmony everywhere. These 8 things are like a rhythm that maintain the natural harmony in every relationship in spite of all the disasters hurdles and misdeeds. So, if we try to follow this rhythm we can maintain the harmony in the relationships.