Most Indians think love becomes successful by marriage or love fails when it does not attain to the marriage. It’s because Indian culture values marriage not love. But, the harsh dilemma is the Indians worship the deities of Radha and Krishna together who are not a married duo. The Indians worship their divine love by placing the deities together. But, according to the mythology, their love didn’t fulfill the criteria of so-called marriage.
Now, the question is why the Indians think marriage is the success of love?
The great philosopher, Osho, said: “Marriage is the bondage of earth and love is the freedom of the sky.”
Marriage and love are two different things. Love is a relationship between two, with hope, dream, freedom, passion, hatred, jealousy, anger, fun, sorrow and laughter. Whereas, according to the Indian custom, marriage is the association of two and more people (the family of the bride and groom), who are actively involved with them.
In most of the cases, love loses its identity through marriage. It’s because the slavery of matrimony confines the freedom of love. The demands and expectations of the family sometimes ruined the special bond between the two.
Hence, if we go to find the answer that the success of love is marriage or not, we need to see the basic difference between marriage and love.
It always denotes the manifestation of freedom. It’s a place where the two individuals enjoy the bonding between them. It’s because this bonding is built up by the spontaneous flow of passion, trust, joy and sorrow. This bonding creates the space where they can release their stress of life and share their happiness together. Day by day, the bonding becomes the source of the vitality of their spirit. So, the couple never feels that they are imprisoned in that relationship as long as they feel for each other. Hence, the warmth of love always melts the iron-gate of the prison. And the duo enjoys the harmony of the relationship with joy, fun, sorrow, fight, possessiveness and every type of emotions. It’s because they accept each other from their heart.
According to the Indian custom, marriage is the bonding between two families rather than the bonding between the bride and the groom. Moreover, the bride has to leave her house and family to stay with the groom and his family. Hence, she has to adapt herself to the new surroundings and new people. That’s the matter of stress to any woman. And, in this stress, hardly she finds her hubby as a buff or a friend beside her in this period of struggle or tension. The adjustment with the groom’s family is completely a social adjustment. On that point, there is no spontaneous flow of emotions in those relationships. When somebody does something against his or her spirit, it invariably becomes a kind of encumbrance to him or her.
Moreover, marriage is not only the permission of staying together socially and get the children to maintain the genetic endowment. It is a huge responsibility and obligations to each other. This is the compromise that the individuals have done to secure about the tomorrows, to be certain about the future and to have an assurance that the man who loves her is going to love her forever (and vice-versa).
The burden of security, the insistence of maintaining commitment or the guarantee, all encage the freedom of love. Day by day, the love transforms into duties, stress, regret, burden and habits. The love loses its identity in marriage and love ends in marriage.
Love and Marriage:
If the passion doesn’t end in marriage, it will remain in the lover’s heart for always. The Sufi poet and philosopher, Rumi said a great line about the lovers, “Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere. They’re in each other all along.” So, the love is alive as long as the lovers live the life. And the love never needs any promise or warrant to insure the future. It is alive in the lovers’ heart as the fuel of aliveness.
Marriage is the social responsibility. It hardly demands love. It only calls for security, responsibilities towards the family and the birth and rearing of the succeeding generations.
If we see the love stories of the great and famous lovers from the world’s history, like Romeo-Juliet, Layla-Majnu, Lancelot and Guinevere, Antony-Cleopatra, Paolo and Francesca and the Hindu deities Radha and Krishna, we find that all are tragic. There is no so-called happy ending like marriage. But, the lovers are immortal and their love stories are eternal. People still remember them for their everlasting love. Is it not the success of love? Think ones, if their love would have been ended in marriage, do people remember them like this way?
True love is always unending. Love never demands illusory securities or any guarantee of future because it is the freedom of the sky. It ends in the prison of marriage. Hence, marriage is not the success of love.
“The ultimate state of love is freedom, absolute freedom, and any relationship that destroys freedom is not worthwhile. Love is a sacred art. To be in love is to be in a holy relationship” ~ Osho