Self-praise is good when it is practiced, secretly in a very depressive mood. Then, it helps one to boost up his or her mental condition. Just like the snake venom. The toxin of snake venom is deadly poisonous for our health on one side. But, on another side, it is used as a chemotherapeutic drug for the treatment of the cancer patients or the patients, who are near to death and saves their life [source: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3627178/]. Self-praise acts like the snake venom because a depression can lead one to commit suicide.
Criticism is the part of our social life. To live a social life, you have to face criticism almost in every step (from home to workplace). We can ignore small criticisms, but sometimes it exceeds its limit and affects a victim in a very painful way. Excessive criticism can be the life-threatened to one as it causes tremendous depression that leads to commit suicide.
Why we criticize other?
When we criticize other we don’t bother about with other’s mental conditions. We find satisfaction by criticizing other. Criticizing other makes us a feel that we are greater than the person whom we are criticizing.
Have you criticized the person, whom you love, truly? No, because either you are blind to your love or you don’t want to hurt your loved ones. Just check it; do your parents criticize you? Or do you criticize your child? [The direction of love, between parents to child, is generally unconditional and very pure form. That’s why; I mentioned it as an example of love.]. No, they may scold us or we may scold our child, but that for our or their betterment, only. Where there is love there is no word of criticism. Love makes one empathetic to others. So, if one hurts one’s loved one, both feel the same pain. For that reason, where there is love there only suggestions and advice exist. If a mother sees a bad quality in her son, she advises him to change that in some way, for his betterment.Since a mother understands her son well and she is empathetic for her son.
Criticism and Suggestions:
The criticism relates to some negative emotions, whereas suggestions and advice relate to some positive emotions. We use suggestions and advice for our loved ones. We use criticism for the persons, who are related to some of our negative emotions like jealousy, hatred, inferiority complex. It comes from a huge internal battle, which is running on within our mind like reality and dream, expectation and gain, giving and taking and so on.
What should we do when someone criticizes us?
Just keep in mind, those who criticize you, don’t know what is going on with you. They only see your external appearance. Though our external appearance is same, internally, we are all different from each other. All emotions (negative and positive) like happiness, sadness, excitement, anger, depression, pleasure are happening within you. So, you can only understand yourself or your closed ones can understand you to some extent. When a person criticizes you for some activities or for some works, he/ she doesn’t know how much effort you have given in that work, how many problems you have faced doing the work, how much you wanted to do the work successfully. They only see the outcome and leave their garbage of their mind by criticizing you.
So, when someone criticizes we should do the following things:-
- Keep some basic idea about yourself, like what you can do, what you cannot do, you the ability, inability, and strength, weakness. Otherwise, criticism breaks you down. So, to deal with criticism, you must have a strong hold on yourself.
- Try to understand whether it is a criticism or an honest opinion. Honest opinions come from a sympathetic or an empathetic ground, whereas criticism comes from jealousy, inferiority complex, and ego problem and so on..
- Receive the honest opinions for your benefit by dissolving your ego as much as possible and throughout the rest of all. But, in critical conditions, like you are in the very low mood, only accept the words come to you as suggestions.
- You can avoid the minor criticisms by ignoring the critics. The best way of ignoring is silence. Though it is tough, you can do it by practicing continuously.
- Criticism hurts us, it raises anger within us. Coming out of anger, if we hurt the critic, hurting continues without any solutions. But, if it crosses the limit, you should shout to stop the critics.
- Shouting can stop the critic for some time, but not for forever. Even it cannot console your wounded heart. In the case of excessive criticism, you need to do self-praise.
- Self-praise: Think about all your good works, good activities and good thoughts for others. Think how you are continuing your life in spite of this toxic environment (an environment full of criticism and blame).
Importance of Self-Praise:
- It boosts up your confidence that helps you to ignore the harsh words of critics.
- It calms your distressful mind.
- It prevents you from losing yourself in the attack of depression.
- It keeps away one from a suicidal attempt.
- Use self-praise only in extremely critical condition. Otherwise, it will lose its effectivity or it can be the dangerous weapon, that is called ‘Pride’ to kill you, slowly. So, it’s better to avoid the people who often criticize you without specific reasons.
The great philosopher Rumi said “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I’ll meet you there.” So, there is a beautiful life beyond every wrongdoing and right doing. But we are so busy to pointing out others wrongdoing and our right doing that we cannot meet the beautiful life. We forget that we cannot control others activities, we can control ourselves only. We can only give some suggestions other if they want. There is no point of hurting each other, it only creates distance. We all are suffering in the same problem of inner battle. So, if one releases his/her stress of battle by hurting others, it just ruins the relationships. That’s why; doing self-analysis is better than criticizing others.
Extreme criticism can destroy one’s life. Sometimes it acts as a huge barrier to one’s progress, especially, for the sensitive persons. So, it’s better to avoid those critics or maintain a big distance from them, until one can make his/her mind enough powers to accept criticism in a cool mind.
Self-praise is like a chemotherapeutic drug, which is used in a severe condition of life. So, you cannot use this medicine on a regular basis. Either you ignore the words of critics or just avoid them by maintaining some specific distances. In spite of that you feel tremendous depression, use Self-Praise as a chemotherapeutic drug in that life threating condition.
Photo courtesy: Truth for kids
In response to the daily prompt- Praise