From childhood to old age, so many relationships come and go in our lives. We have a tendency to look for a perfect relationship. Many people spend their entire lives to find the perfect one for them. And, finally, cannot come to the conclusion that which one was perfect for him or her. Now, the question is that does a perfect relationship exist?
Perfect relationships exist. Not only one, but more than one perfect connection exists also. Generally, the association, which flows smoothly and effortlessly without manipulating anything of yourself, you mark as the perfect union. It’s not necessary that the man or the woman, with whom you live, can share everything with you or participate in any discussion with you.
The guy or the girl, with whom you enjoy sharing poetry and stories, can be the perfect one for your poetry’s relationship. The man, with whom, you love to drink, can be the best partner for you for enjoying the beverages. The girl, whose company, you enjoy most for chatting about music and songs, can be the perfect company for your musical moods. Like this way, your perfect romance partner cannot be your perfect gossip partner or your ideal shopping partner.
The perfect relationship is all about tunning. The partner, with whom, you can tune your emotions. When you do that, it goes with harmony with love and fights. It’s like a matching of web length. When your particular thoughts perfectly match with somebody’s thought, the connection between you two falls into harmony. The union goes so well that you feel comfort within that.
So, it does not happen that you will find one, with you can tune your all emotions or you can match all your web lengths. You will regret if you expect that. What needs to put all your expectation to a person? What needs to demand everything from one person? Life is not so short that you can close it within only one perfect union. Expand your life, wide your intellect to enjoy the wideness of living. Don’t put your thoughts in such narrow lane of finding at least one perfect relationship in your existence. Learn to give value to the smallest small relationships in this animation. You’ll definitely, find more than one perfect connections in your living.
Feel free to share your thoughts about the perfect relationships.
A relationship comes into our life as a first baby of a couple, with lots of joy, hope, and dreams. And it goes like a broken dream of dawn with a pinch of sadness and a faint light of hope with a small question mark. But, how long it stays, it should play a beautiful melody in our lives. That means; when a relationship gives us comfort and shelter in life and makes us cool or cheerful even in the time of huge stress is a melodious relationship. It will play melody only when a harmony is maintained between the two involved in it.
A love affair comes and goes on its own way. One cannot hold it alone by his/ her own efforts. What we can hold is love for the person to whom we were attached. Not even, a hate as well.
So, what can we do to make it beautiful, peaceful and melodious, to maintain harmony in an affair? There are eight things that secretly maintain this harmony. If we know those well, we can consciously control those to make a harmonious union.
8 things that secretly maintained the harmony of a Relationship:
A relationship ends, when the people, involved in it, start to count their giving and taking. We forget that we came into this world with empty hands. We can give only to the extent that we have gained from here. Otherwise, we have nothing to give to anyone. Just see the nature. Harmony is maintained everywhere in nature. Like, a relationship between flora and soil. The plant receives nutrient and water from soil and soil produces those by collecting the raw materials from the decomposed leaves, flower and fruits. In summer, when there is a scarcity of water in nature, a plant can’t grow well and become unable to supply the raw materials to the soil for making the manures. On the other hand, Soil is also dependent on the plant as the plant prevents soil erosion. In this way, a mutual dependency is maintained within each other. One thing I also want to clear that taking and receiving are completely different things. Taking is more related to the opportunity, whereas, receiving relates to acceptance. So, just concentrate on your giving. Your giving is your receiving.
If you truly care for someone, you can understand his/her some unsaid words like some small wishes, some little dreams, likes, and dislikes. When you start to value them, you will be valuable from him/ her. It’s human nature that we always prefer to stay with someone who thinks that we are valuable and important. In short, everyone wants importance. So, as long as, this ‘valuable’ feeling stays between each other, the association grows in a harmonic motion.
Trust is the basic thing of every relationship. Maintaining this is hard, but without this, no relationship can exist. we can maintain it by talking about your worries and doubts, clearly with our partner in a very healthy way. A couple should try to be faithful to each other. Both should becareful about their small liesbecause sometimes a small lie can bring a big heartache.
An urge of solving the problems:
Anger, loose talks, misunderstandings, not understandings, clashing of views, stubbornness, conflicts, blaming each other etc. are common problems in every relationship. Those happen and those are solved by the urge of the couple to solve the problems between them. These are the important parts of maintaining harmony. A melody would be great when it is composed of up and down notes, but it feels boring when it plays in a monotonic motion. The melody of a relationship will stay harmonious as long as there will be an urge of solving these problems and being close to each other again.
Ignorance is the worst punishment of any association. It also acts as a signal of breaking the harmony. You can ignore some of the activities of your partner that you don’t like. But, ignoring the person completely is the sign of ‘breaking’. It says, “your role is over, you may go now”. So, maintaining a respect for each other is very essential.No one can be perfect. But, everybody has some good and bad qualities. we should try to find out the good ones by our impartial views for each other and respect those qualities.
There is no place of ego in a relationship. There is nothing wrong in bowing down to a person you love. Ego acts as a killer of a kinship. Einstein said, “More the knowledge lesser the ego, lesser the knowledge more the ego.” It not only breaks the harmony, it ruins the union, completely, as well. So, keep your ego away from your relationship and maintain the harmony. Where there is love, there is no place for ego.
Support and Empathy:
These two are very much linked with each other. Basically, we are all alone. We always find some support from our relationship. Support means not a blind encouragement. Support means when someone falls, holding him/her tightly. Support means inspiring. Support means giving shelter in a rainy season. Harmony is running after the support. Support comes from empathy for each other.
Either love creates a relationship or a relationship creates love. The association will be melodious when it is bound with love. The word ‘unconditional’ means there is no counting for giving, taking, caring, helping and loving. This ‘unconditional love‘ makes the relationship easier. That’s mean, you cannot think before doing anything for your partner or the other person in the relationship. Even, it makes you feel happy for giving and receiving too.
A relationship is expired when it loses its harmony. If we try to continue the relationship after the expiry date, it will not move. If we look at nature around us. We will see the disasters, hurdles, misdeeds come into nature, again and again, in spite of that, it follows a rhythm to maintain its harmony everywhere. These 8 things are like a rhythm that maintain the natural harmony in every relationship in spite of all the disasters hurdles and misdeeds. So, if we try to follow this rhythm we can maintain the harmony in the relationships.
The togetherness doesn’t only mean living under the same ceiling, sleeping in the same bed or planning for the same future. It is more than sharing room, bed, food, and money. There are many couples in this society who live in together ( marriage or any live in relationship) without having the proper togetherness. They are living as two different bodies, but psychologically they are dealing with one or two different existence (s) between them, which has (have) no visual body. Those two existences are living behind the two worldly bodies like the shadows. And the two visual bodies are acting like the masks, pretending the togetherness by showing their artificial love, publicly. But, the pot is empty inside, in reality. It’s because they are not in real togetherness. The laughing, dancing, and intimate photos do not show the existence of the third or the fourth person between them, as they are invisible and present behind the polite masks.
What is the Real Togetherness:
Togetherness is a phase where the two real beings are living and loving together with their totality. It is a state of a relationship where no one using any mask to veil their unpleasantness. It is completely based on acceptance, where both are able to accept their complete nudity. It’s not only physically, but also emotionally.
It is a place where each can express themselves totally with their perfectness and imperfectness, strength and limitations, good or bad. It’s like the open platform, where both can dance with their own rhythm and the rhythms maintains a sweet harmony between them.
It seems like what is yours is mine and what is mine is yours. But, this is not in a material aspect only, but also from an emotional aspect. It is called sharing. Whatsoever is in your heart, your joy, pain, wound, desire is mine and whatsoever in my heart, anger, jealousy, depression, happiness all is yours.When both can accept their limitations and strength as their own, everything falls into the harmony.
There is not any particular rule in togetherness. It seems like the free flowing of the river. It slows down when obstacles come and flows with its current, when the path is clear. There is no need to control its direction.
Togetherness and Relationship:
In many relationships, the couples are claiming their relationships as the togetherness. But, they hardly maintain it. I have seen many relationships, where one is trying hard to impress other and hiding his or her originality from his or her spouse for the sake of insecurities. In that case, another person is dominating the relationship by exposing his or her Ego, shamelessly in that relationship. There is no harmony in such types of relationships because of the presence of three beings, two original and one mask.The mask and the original cannot make any togetherness.
Another type of relationship is also very common, where both partners are using masks and hiding their crude existences. The melody of togetherness cannot be played from the fake existences. It’s because there is more than one relationship are going along behind the two different bodies. That may be a relationship of slavery or monetary or enmity or anything apart from love. They are showing their love to all, but behind the door, the mask of togetherness has just been flown off from them.
Acceptance in Togetherness:
Togetherness is all about acceptance. Its potential depends on how much one accept other with his or her goodness and badness. No one can be perfect. It’s also not true or necessary that one will find his or her dream lover as his or her life mate. The beautiful faces, the handsome physics or the heavy wallets are enough to take the pleasure of a lavish lifestyle. But those are not well enough to bring the joy of togetherness in a relationship.
And the joy doesn’t depend on upon the quality or qualifications of the individual involved in the relationship. It simply depends on upon the ability of the acceptance to each other’s totality. It’s not that togetherness is the perfect pattern of kinship. It is, simply, the acceptability of the imperfections within a relationship by the two individuals.
I agree with that it is difficult to accept other totally. But, if you have the weapon of love, you can conquer everything of the universe. Though it’s also true that one cannot do it alone. Cooperation from two sides can only make it possible. If there is proper cooperation, the togetherness can be upheld even after the physical distances (separate living). The bonding of togetherness is so potent that it can get rid of every up and down in life. The warmth of this beautiful bonding, with fighting and loving, always makes the two people so energetic that they together can make the impossible to possible. When the togetherness reaches at its highest level, it turns into Oneness where the two souls live as one.