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#AtoZChallenge: J is For Jealousy

#AtoZChallenge: J is For Jealousy

Jealousy starts from comparison and it is continuing as long as the comparison persists.  The comparison is a virus that comes from the society from the days of childhood. The parents start to compare their children with others from the days of their first schooling and it continues until they find their boys or girls coming best at the standard of their society. We are the victim of comparison from our childhood. It sows the seed of jealousy from that very beginning of life. And Jealousy is like a disease that kills your beauty. It is an emotion that prevents you from accepting yourself as you are and to take others as they are. It is the fire that burns you from inside. And you cannot stop burning until you quit the habit of comparing yourself with others.

The comparison is totally baseless. Everyone is unique and incomparable. In nature, everything is beautiful because there is neither comparison nor the feeling of envy. Have you ever asked the Jasmine flower, why are you not colorful like the cosmos flower?  Or to Mango tree, why are you not producing mango throughout the year like the Banana tree?

No, you definitely, don’t ask such silly questions like the idiots. Just like nature, every human is unique. Everyone has certain quality and capability. I may have the similarity with you, but I cannot be you. You are “you”, incomparable to anyone. You will bloom just like you, not like me. As much as you accept this truth you will never run to the rat race of the comparison and will be safe from the fire of jealousy.

jealousy
The fire of jealousy.

You are comparing yourself by watching someone’s outside. You never know his inside. But you know your inside or your misery. Suppose, you are envious to see someone’s success or smiling face. You think how happy he or she is and how unhappy I am. No one knows How much pain I am carrying. From this comparison, the feeling of jealousy comes to your mind. That leads to negative thinking and tremendous hate towards somebody. And day by day, you are burnt by your self-creating fire of jealousy.

You cannot get out from your suffering until you have the feeling of envy. Stop comparing and respect your being and your uniqueness. Let you be bloom like the flowers. Then, you can appreciate other’s uniqueness. You’ll feel light and happy. Your jealousy will transform into compassion.

 

This post is the part of Blogging From A to Z Challenge of April 2017 on Letter- J. My theme for this Challenge is Exploring The Beauty Of Living.

 

5 Habits that Transform Jealousy into Compassion

5 Habits that Transform Jealousy into Compassion

burning flower
The fire of Jealousy can burn a beautiful mind like the flower.

Jealousy is one of our self-created unpleasant emotions that arise from unhealthy comparisons between two or more people. Emotions mean an energy that comes to your mind to make you feel bad or good. So, if you transform the energy for a good purpose, you can feel well and can live a stress-free life also.

Jealousy is an emotion that restricts you to accept yourself as you are and to accept others as they are. In the prison of jealousy, you will live in an oxygen-less life. Jealousy not only harms you, but also ruins your relationships. Sometimes comparison inspires us. But comparison in a relationship just ruins it.

You can use the energy of jealousy for a better purpose if you can change some of your habits. These are the five habits that I mentioned in the title.

5 Habits that Transform Jealousy into Compassion:

  1. Face the person:

    Don’t try to escape from the person to whom you compare with yourself. Face him/her.  Talk to him/her in a humble way though you may feel some hesitations in communication. Try to focus on the matter, which makes you feel jealous. It’s not easy. But if you do that, it can protect the relationship from breaking up. Avoiding the person or the matter only increases the risk of break up.

  2. Appreciate the person:

    Appreciating the person on his achievement, rather than maintaining the silence of jealousy. It increases your value to him.  It maintains the closeness of the relationships. Suppose, you and your friend are preparing for a competitive examination. Your friend cracked it, but you couldn’t. Then a feeling of jealousy create a distance between you and your friend. Don’t let it increase. Go to your friend, appreciate him for his achievement and discuss the matter, how does he achieve that and why didn’t you crack that? It melts the ice of jealousy and creates the ground of compassion.

  3. Praising the person:

    You cannot imagine the magic of praising others, especially the persons to whom you feel jealous. I’m not saying about oiling or false praise for a selfish intention. Praise them on the matter that they deserve rather than making the suffocated environment of jealousy within you. Suppose, you are feeling jealous of your girlfriend or to your wife for her certain qualities. Whenever you face her you feel jealous of her. If you are not working on that, it will ruin your relationship. Just praise her from your heart  for those qualities. Then watch the magic. You will be more special and more valuable to her. The direction of the wave of your relationship will be changed. Love and empathy will enrich your relationship. You can use praise in any relationship. It increases your value. Since everyone wants praise, but few of us can give it.

  4. Showing interest in learning:

    To cope up jealousy, you can also show your interest in learning on the matter of feeling jealous of the person. That means; you respect his /her qualities rather than comparing yourself to him/her. You can learn something from that person which can help you to reach that level or it may help you to know one’s struggle towards his achievements. Suppose, a girl has an average figure and she is not much bother about that. But, when she watches one of her average looking friends makes a slim and sexy figure, she starts to feel jealous of her. She can transform this jealousy to the compassion if she shows some interest in learning by asking her friend like that, “how could you get this awesome figure. Please give me some tips. I’ll also try that.” In this way either she can learn some tips from her friend or she can create a ground of compassion and love between their relationships.

  5. Dissolving your Ego:

    Your ego and your true self are completely different things.  The true self is shielded by the ego. Happiness belongs to the true-Self. Ego is responsible for our unhappiness and external happiness. There is a saying of Albert Einstein that More the knowledge, lesser the ego, lesser the knowledge, more the ego.” So, true knowledge can break the wall of ego. When ego dissolves, unhappiness cannot bother you. So, whenever you feel jealous of somebody, try to ignore your ego and accept his/her qualities or achievement in a positive way. Then you can understand comparison is totally baseless. Each person is unique and incomparable. You are just yourself not a dummy of another. Everyone is original. This feeling helps you to get rid of jealousy and other comparisons.

Conclusion:

One can use these five habits at a time or any of these to transform jealousy into love and compassion. Jealousy is a very powerful emotion because by this emotion you can see the good qualities of others. But, when you compare those things to yours, you become disappointed and finally it snatches your happiness. So, transform this feeling into compassion and enjoy the happiness and a stress-free life.

Photo credit: Stopwideshut

6 keys to forgive the misdeeds

6 keys to forgive the misdeeds

Forgiveness:

Forgiving someone, who hurts you deeply, is the hardest challenge of life. But, you can only move forward in life when you can make it possible. Forgiveness is a measure to unload the extra baggage of our mind.  Hate, jealousy, distrust and desire to take revenge make our mind heavy stressful.  The heavy mind cannot enjoy the natural happiness of our spirit. If we can release those emotions, our mind will be free to enjoy the beauty of the animation. Forgiveness is the best measure to do that. It opens the closed doors of mind to accept the life as it comes to our way.

You must think, it’s easy to say and tough to do. But, that’s not like that. There are some ways to do that. Practicing those makes it easy. But, first and foremost thing for that is your willingness to do that. You can only forgive someone when you want to forgive him or her. Otherwise, you have to be burnt for the rest of the life with the fire of the hate and the desire for revenge.

Forgiving is time taking matters. You cannot forgive someone, who hurts you badly, immediately after the incident. The mind is ready to forgive someone when your tears dried up.

After experiencing the tremendous pain of the incident and fighting with that pain and incident, when you realize there is no way to relieve other than forgiving, you can only forgive someone at that fourth dimension. Now, the ways of forgiving are like as follows.

butterfly2
Forgiveness sets you free

6 keys to forgive the misdeeds:

  1. Diverting the mind:

    At first, you have to divert your mind from that incident or the misdeed. Life is much broader than a particular incident. Your life won’t be spoiled by an incident if you don’t want to do that. So, concentrate on your routine activities, like your work in office and home, your educations, party, club whatsoever activities you did before that incident.  “The show must go on”.

  2. Loving:

    Every emotion is the energy. Hate, jealousy, desire for revenge, etc., generate a huge amount of energy, just like the fire.  If you use the fire for cooking something rather than burning yourself, you must be benefitted by that.  Simply, transfer the energy in loving something or someone. I’m not saying to love the person, whom you hate most. But, you can love the things or the persons, whom you like. Just increase the amount of love and love as much as you can. Love your hobby, love your work, and love the people, who are with you even at your toughest times. The extra puss of love will be supplied from the vitality of those unwanted emotions. These tremendous flows of love sometimes discover your passion, if you don’t have that yet. Passion is a type of shelter, which always makes you comfort when the life becomes uncomfortable.

  3. Feeling Light:

    When you transform the huge energy of those uncomfortable emotions into serene love, you automatically feel light. Now, you are loving yourself. Hate, pain, desire for revenge all the garbage, which are thrown by the society to you, are transcended by love. Now, your mind becomes open to receive the eternal call, “move forward”.

  4. Learning Lessons:

    You can only move forward properly when you will take morals from the incident that hurts you in the worst. Try to learn from that experience. Did you trust someone blindly? Did you depend on someone mostly? Are you the victim of hypocrisy? Or were you simply the victim of someone’s mistakes?  Ask yourself the questions like that. You must be found the correct answer. The style of teaching of life is quite different from our normal school, where we are taught before the test. But, in the school of life, we are taught only after performing the test.

  5. Moving forward:

    When you will take morals from your experience, you must feel that the lessons are much bigger than the incident or the misdeeds. This draws the incident less valuable thing in life. It helps you to look forward. People call it often, “forget about it”.

  6. Accepting:

    You cannot accept those matters, which stops you from moving on. When you can step forward by passing over the stoppers, you will never experience any trouble to  accept the incident as a component of life. After all, it teaches you the great lessons that enrich your wisdom.  So, it should have a special space in your life. Accepting the incident or someone’s misdeeds with a great life lesson is forgiving. Then, you can feel that you really unloaded the extra baggage of your mind.

Conclusion:

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of strong.”- Mahatma Gandhi.

Forgiving someone doesn’t intend to stoop downwards.  It is a much higher thing than anything we can get along in our lifetimes. Hence, when you forgive someone, it makes you great. But, forgiving the injustice without fighting back is your weakness. Thus, you have to decide when to fight back and when to forgive. Forgiving is a divine affair. It is not easy to come by. But, it is a sign of one’s inner strength.So, don’t be a miser to spread your greatness when it’s needed.

This post is submitted for Indispire Prompt.

photo courtesy: Chronic pain

 

10 Ways To Detoxify Your Mind

10 Ways To Detoxify Your Mind

Detoxification of Mind:

Detoxification or detox is a process of releasing toxic component from our body. Like our body, our mind is also intoxicated by the toxic emotions and negative thoughts. Every emotion is the energy. So, a balance among the every emotion makes the mind beautiful and peaceful. If this balance is disturbed, the mind begins to suffer with stress, worries and unhappiness. This stress leads to search happiness outside, whereas it is within us. The toxicity of the unhealthy emotions like anger, hate, jealousy, greed, panic, frustrations, depressions etc., intoxicated our innate happiness. So, we need to detoxify our mind. Only then, we can find our innate happiness and peace of mind.

10 Ways To Detoxify Your Mind:

detox8

There are several processes of detoxification of the mind. Here, I describe the ten major ways to detoxify the mind.

1.     Releasing toxins:

Those toxic emotions should be released from the mind. But, don’t throw those to other’s mind in a raw form. Suppose, you are getting angry for some reasons. It raises your stress. Your mind will always try to release this toxin. To get relief from the stress, you just throw it to another person and he just follows the same procedure for his relief. In this way, anger toxicity is transmitted person to person. But, if you release your anger in some of your activities (it’s better to say which you love to do) like writing, dancing, painting, singing, jogging, cooking, walking or the works which need a huge energy (and you like to do that), it cannot spread toxicity in the environment. But, keep in mind, whatever you do, do alone. Try to use the tremendous energy of the powerful emotions, like anger and hate, in a purposeful work.

2.     Transformation of Toxin:

Some toxic emotions like jealousy, guilty of mistakes, Hate, you can transform into some good emotions. Suppose, you are jealous of your friend, who has a brighter career than you, and feeling intoxicated by the toxicity of jealousy. If you stop comparing you to your friend and practice the habit of appreciating the person rather than destroying the relationship, you can transform your jealousy to your empathy. Like this way, you can also transform the hate into forgiveness by accepting  the person as he/she is and learning a lesson from the incident . In this way, the energy of the toxic emotions will convert into the energy of performing some good work.

3.     Habits of learning- Innate Immunity:

This is a habit, which acts as our Innate immune system. It protects you from the exotoxin   (the  toxic emotions come from the external incidents).  If you practice the habit of learning from every small and big incident of life, the toxicity of those incidents couldn’t harm you. The lessons, which you have learned from the incidents will enrich you more. Suppose, if you try to learn from your failure rather than feeling frustrated, you can use the failure as your stepping stone.

4.     Self-value- Acquired Immunity:

Society has a tendency to release the toxin like panic, frustrations, negative thoughts  in the raw form to the environment , that means to other persons. These toxins can affect badly to the persons, who has no self-value. They see the poisonous toxins as the medicines for their improvement as they don’t know themselves. So, one should give value to oneself. Otherwise, one cannot fight with these kinds of exotoxins. It acts like an Acquired immunity. People make this system strong by the repetitive attack and exposure to these toxins.

5.     Introspection- Antitoxin:

Sadness or depression like emotions, generally distract people from the external environment and make the people less energetic. If one accepts this intoxication as the opportunity of self-growth, it helps one in introspection.  So, you can save your life from losing in a world of depression, by this way. Introspection is a very good antitoxin to detoxify the mind from many kinds of exotoxins like criticism, negative thoughts, wrong guideline, blind faith and so many toxins those badly intoxicate the mind.  So, these types of toxic emotions can create  antitoxin in the mind and then detoxify it.

6.     Patience-Innate Immune System:

This is also a type of the innate immune system. It helps us to keep patience in any unexpected situation and observe it properly.  People with this quality cannot get affected by the environmental toxin easily. One can adopt this nature by increasing his tolerance level of mind by continuous practice. Then, you can say it, as an acquired immunity.

7.     Dissolving the Ego:

Ego is highly responsible for toxicity in mind. Usually, we cannot understand it well until we find our true self. But, we can understand its presence by our pride or “I-ness”. Pride is a kind of toxin that not destroy  the person only, but also ruins his/her relationships.  It intoxicates the mind such a bad way, that the person forgets almost all of his/ her good qualities and emotions. The funny thing is that the pride intoxicated persons cannot realize their toxicity until they are ruined by their pride. So, it’s better to be conscious of the presence of the pride after every success or achievement. If it arises, try to dissolve that at the beginning. Otherwise, it will rise like a giant and finally kill you.

8.     Antitoxin- Self-praise:

Toxins,  like extreme criticism, the pressure of high expectations, negative thoughts, which are coming from the outside, can create a severe level of depression toxicity in one’s mind. This kind of toxicity kills the hope of living anymore or it can cause mental death. Sometimes this toxicity also leads committing suicide. In this case, self-praise acts as a chemotherapeutic medicine, which is formed from the poison of the snake. Self-praise, itself the  pride and kills our original good nature in normal condition. But, in the critical condition, it acts as a lifesaving antitoxin to detoxify tremendous toxicity in the mind.

9.     Meditation-Preventive measure:

Meditation is a good measure of preventing toxicity. But, a toxic mind cannot meditate well. So, if you practice meditation on a daily basis, environmental toxicity cannot intoxicate you easily.

10. Acceptance:

It is the ultimate way to detoxify our mind. It also prevents toxicity in the mind. Think positive and accept the life as it is. Everyone is unique. You cannot compare yourself to another person. So, appreciate the good nature and accept the bad nature of the people. Don’t allow the others interference in your life. Live the life in your way. This is the acceptance and ultimate medicine or preventive measure of toxicity in the mind.

Conclusion:detox5

Toxicity in mind is very common in our daily life. So, either we should do some preventive measure to protect our mind from the environmental toxicity, or we should practice the detoxifying measure to detoxify our mind. Practice these measures of detoxification to keep your innate happiness and peace in your life.

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Toxicity In The Mind: 14 Destructive Nature of Toxic Mind

Toxicity In The Mind: 14 Destructive Nature of Toxic Mind

Toxicity in the mind:

A perfect mind is balanced with our positive and negative emotions. If this balance is changed, the peace of mind is hampered.  We often call it as stress. However, the mind has its own control mechanism to maintain this balance by its positive and healthy emotions like love, compassion, forgiveness etc., which help in resilience.  For this reason, we still feel love for ourselves in spite of the unwanted and unexpected situations of outside.

Sometimes, the rustic change (read increase) of any negative emotions like hate, anger, greed, jealousy, pride, fear, frustrations etc., can demolish the total balance system of mind and control the mind in its own way. Mind loses its natural and innate features of love, peace and happiness completely. Then, these emotions act as the toxic agents of mind and intoxicated our beautiful mind. Like our body, our mind is intoxicated by the excessive rise of these unwanted and unhealthy emotions. In this way, these types’ negative emotions and thoughts create toxicity in the mind.

toxicity

Why does a mind get intoxicated?

The toxic agents of the mind are panic, anger, jealousy, hate, pride, frustrations, depression; negative self-talks and so on, which we see as the negativity of mind. But these are not actually negative emotions. These types of emotions create negativity or toxicity in mind because we cannot use them purposefully.

When a toxin is entered into the body, we should release it from the body. But, what we do with our mind? Either we suppress them in our mind or release them in such a way that the opposite persons get intoxicated by our toxins. So, a cycle of intoxication continuing from person to person.  As a result, emotional balance is hampered by these internal and external influences. The toxin like stress, worry, sadness and ego-ness etc., are released from the toxic substances of the mind and intoxicated it.

14 destructive Nature of toxic mind:

When the mind is intoxicated, it not only harms the person specifically, but it also changes the total circumstances of the person with its toxicity. The destructive effects of intoxicated mind are as follows.

  1. A toxic mind always produces negative and harmful thoughts, which ruin the capability of thinking something in a simple way. Things become complicated when it enters into as toxic mind.
  2. Toxicity in mind also changes the perceptions of the victim. When the mind becomes intoxicated, one perceives everything in a negative way.
  3. It compels one to do awful and unexpected activities. That’s why; sometimes we pass comment about a known person, who is intoxicated by the toxic emotions, “He is totally changed/ Money and fame change him completely.”
  4. An excessive level of toxicity in mind changes one’s personality.
  5. A person with a toxic mind cannot keep up any healthy relationship. Toxicity is always disturbing his or her relationships. Breaking up is very common for the toxic-minded people.
  6. A toxic mind is always suffering in an insecurity complex. Maybe, it is one of the causes of this intoxication.
  7. Toxicity in mind leads mental illness. If it persists for a long time, a person having the toxic mind becomes the psychopath.
  8. Some toxicity leads social withdrawal of the person.
  9. A toxic mind has a tendency to spread toxicity in its surrounding environment. People, who are surrounding the toxic-minded person, have a chance to get intoxicated by that toxicity if they have no control over
  10. When the toxic-minded people become the parent, the parenting becomes intoxicated by their toxicity. The innocent children become the unfortunate victim of this toxicity.
  11.  Sometimes, prolong and excessive toxicity in mind leads losing of social position and professional degradation of a person with excessive toxicity in the mind.
  12. Toxicity snatches the peace and happiness of mind. Unnecessary stress fills the mind completely.
  13. A toxic mind loses its emotional energy. Even, the positive energy of the mind is converted into the toxic energy. So, the people with toxic mind become less energetic and use their all energy in spreading toxicity in the surrounding environment.
  14. Humanity is murdered by the toxicity in the mind.

Conclusion:

Toxicity in the mind destructs the person and his/her relationships. Not only that, but it also spreads the toxicity  in other peoples’ mind. That is a most dangerous thing because it kills humanity. So, we should be aware of the toxicity in the mind. If it is detected, we should detoxify it as soon as possible. After all, we all deserve happiness and peace.

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[To be continued]

Recycle & Reuse of the Waste of Human Mind

Recycle & Reuse of the Waste of Human Mind

recycle+mindRecycle and Reuse are the most common environmental process to eliminate the waste from the environment. The human mind is also like the environment.  If we can see our mind in the mirror, we can’t look at the mirror for a minute. Since the garbage of society destroys the beauty of our mind.  That’s why we are always wondering for happiness, whereas it belongs to us.

Happiness is suppressed under the garbage of your mind. When you transform this huge dump of garbage into the useful things, you can enjoy the happiness of transformations. This is called recycle and reuse of the waste of mind. Day by day, the garbage is increasing in our mind. To decrease the load, we just throw it from our house to our neighbour’s house and this cycle continues shamelessly.

What is the Garbage?

Garbage is nothing but our unhealthy emotions like anger, hate, jealousy, frustration, rejection and so many negative thoughts. When you feel you are overloaded by those, you simply throw it to other’s mind. Suppose, in your office, your boss insults you for some reasons and you came back home by suppressing your anger. Your wife serves you dinner. Unfortunately, you find  out that your favourite chicken item is slightly less boiled. That heats your anger and it’s blasted out. You shout on your wife and you don’t want to hear anything from your wife. Finally, you reject the dinner, which makes your wife angry. Your little daughter watches this scene between her Mom and Dad and she is getting frightened by both of your reactions. She starts to cry in loud. Then, your wife shouts on the little girl by coming in anger. In this way, a family peace is totally distorted by throwing the anger in a cycle. Here, the anger is garbage.

But, if you release the anger in another way rather than suppressing it within your mind, the anger of your boss cannot disturb your family peace. In this case, you can do more hard work in office to release your anger or can do a little understanding of your anger. If the fault is yours, you should apologize to your boss. If  you have no fault, you should ignore the anger by coming in compassion like “he is a poor guy, either he is jealous of me and just want to show me down or he simply discharges his own load of anger.” Why should you carry other’s load of garbage?  Just, look at your child. She is neither carrying the load of that anger nor throwing it back to continue the cycle. She released it by crying (as she knows only this technique of release) and then she started playing by forgetting it. Her play and activities make both of you happy. In this way, the little girl transforms your anger into your happiness.

She can do it because she is not loaded by the garbage of society. She is happy with herself and providing happiness to the people around you. But, when she will learn from the society that she has to suppress the emotions to maintain the so-called formality, she’ll just forget the magic of transformation.

Reduce, Recycle and Reuse:

If we can keep the habit of the transformation of unhealthy emotions, we can get a stress-free life. Every emotion is full of energy. So, if we learn to recycle the garbage of mind, we can reuse it for a constructive purpose. This is called the transformation of negative energy into positive energy for constructive work.

So, when you will experience any unhealthy emotion, just try to release it in a positive way or in constructive purpose. Emotions like anger, jealousy, anxiety, and hate are carrying tremendous energy. You shouldn’t waste it like  the garbage. Don’t go in suppressing that energy, they are not easily available. Discharge those in a constructive way. If you love to write, write something at that time. If you are a passionate blogger, write some fabulous, energetic blog post. If you like dancing or jogging or singing, go for that. Keep in mind that you have to do some energetic activity. But, don’t go for listening to the music or reading a storybook (even you cannot do those that time). If you can’t find any energetic activity, just go for a walk. After all, health is wealth.

At the time of less energetic emotions like frustration, sadness, depression, etc., you shouldn’t waste your time by drinking the alcohol bottle after bottle or taking antidepressants/ sleeping pills. Solitude comes, when energy escapes. Accept the solitude. It restricts all the distractions of your mind from worldly activities, which helps you to focus on yourself, that is called introspections.

As much as you practice it in this way, your mind will be trained to reduce the amount of these unhealthy emotions.

Conclusion:lotus2

Do you know lotus flower? It is a divine flower to the Hindus and the Buddhists. It is portrayed, Vishnu and Lakshmi sit on the lotus flower, Buddha sits on a lotus flower. This has significance. The Lotus flower is the perfect example of “Transformations”. It is found in the muddy and murky water of a pond or lake, which spreads a pungent odour. But, when the lotus bloomed it spreads beauty and fragrance. The muddy water is the symbol of the waste of our mind and the lotus flower is the symbol of beauty, happiness and peace, which you can say ‘positivity’. The pungent odour of muddy water, that is the negative thoughts transform into the fragrance of lotus, that is positivity or constructive work. When you will transform all the garbage of the mind into the best and essential products of life like a lotus flower, you will rediscover your happiness and can spend a stress-free life. 

The Three R’s (Reduce, Reuse, and Recycle) of eliminating waste from the environment are also applicable for eliminating the waste of human minds. So, keep practicing the process of reducing, reuse and recycling of the garbage of your mind and clean the mind. Automatically, you will enjoy a happy and stress-free life.

 

[Photo courtesy: Free desktoop Background]

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