The Joy of Togetherness in a Relationship.


The togetherness doesn’t only mean living under the same ceiling, sleeping in the same bed or planning for the same future. It is more than sharing room, bed, food, and money. There are many couples in this society who live in together  ( marriage or any live in relationship) without having the proper togetherness. They are living as two different bodies, but psychologically they are dealing with one or two different existence (s) between them, which has (have) no visual body. Those two existences are living behind the two worldly bodies like the shadows. And the two visual bodies are acting like the masks, pretending the togetherness by showing their artificial love, publicly. But, the pot is empty inside, in reality. It’s because they are not in real togetherness. The laughing, dancing, and intimate photos do not show the existence of the third or the fourth person between them, as they are invisible and present behind the polite masks.


What is the Real Togetherness:

Togetherness is a phase where the two real beings are living and loving together with their totality. It is a state of a relationship where no one using any mask to veil their unpleasantness.  It is completely based on acceptance, where both are able to accept their complete nudity. It’s not only physically, but also emotionally.

It is a place where each can express themselves totally with their perfectness and imperfectness, strength and limitations, good or bad. It’s like the open platform, where both can dance with their own rhythm and the rhythms maintains a sweet harmony between them.

It seems like what is yours is mine and what is mine is yours. But, this is not in a material aspect only,  but also from an emotional aspect. It is called sharing. Whatsoever is in your heart, your joy, pain, wound, desire is mine and whatsoever in my heart,  anger, jealousy, depression, happiness all is yours. When both can accept their limitations and strength as their own, everything falls into the harmony.

There is not any particular rule in togetherness.  It seems like the free flowing of the river. It slows down when obstacles come and flows with its current, when the path is clear. There is no need to control its direction.

Togetherness and Relationship:

In many relationships, the couples are claiming their relationships as the togetherness. But, they hardly maintain it. I have seen many relationships, where one is trying hard to impress other and hiding his or her originality from his or her spouse for the sake of insecurities. In that case, another person is dominating the relationship by exposing his or her Ego, shamelessly in that relationship. There is no harmony in such types of relationships because of the presence of three beings, two original and one mask. The mask and the original cannot make any togetherness.

Another type of relationship is also very common, where both partners are using masks and hiding their crude existences. The melody of togetherness cannot be played from the fake existences. It’s because there is more than one relationship are going along behind the two different bodies. That may be a relationship of slavery or monetary or enmity or anything apart from love. They are showing their love to all, but behind the door, the mask of togetherness has just been flown off from them.

Acceptance in Togetherness:

Togetherness is all about acceptance. Its potential depends on how much one accept other with his or her goodness and badness. No one can be perfect. It’s also not true or necessary that one will find his or her dream lover as his or her life mate. The beautiful faces, the handsome physics or the heavy wallets are enough to take the pleasure of a lavish lifestyle.  But those are not well enough to bring the joy of togetherness in a relationship.

And the joy doesn’t depend on upon the quality or qualifications of the individual involved in the relationship. It simply depends on upon the ability of the acceptance to each other’s totality.  It’s not that togetherness is the perfect pattern of kinship. It is, simply, the acceptability of the imperfections within a relationship by the two individuals. 



I agree with that it is difficult to accept other totally. But, if you have the weapon of love, you can conquer everything of the universe. Though it’s also true that one cannot do it alone. Cooperation from two sides can only make it possible.  If there is proper cooperation, the togetherness can be upheld even after the physical distances (separate living). The bonding of togetherness is so potent that it can get rid of every up and down in life. The warmth of this beautiful bonding, with fighting and loving, always makes the two people so energetic that they together can make the impossible to possible. When the togetherness reaches at its highest level, it turns into Oneness where the two souls live as one.

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Sayanti aka ShineSubhashNitinKamal Kothariwatchingthedaisies Recent comment authors
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Wonderful thoughts Sayanti, if at all we just do not read but understand and implement too.


This is such a beautiful post, full of wonderful thoughts and ideas.

Feelings and Freedom

Great post! Thought provoking.


This is awesome dear friend.


Something for us all to aspire to. Thank you.

Kamal Kothari

How true and wonderfully written. The oneness is missing

Kamal Kothari

shared this on my blogpage


isn’t it just peach. This is something that is on my mind ~ what real togetherness means. And here I find this article, discussing the same thing.

Seriously, it’s not two perfect people together. There are no such people in the first place. It’s the combination of these two ~the togetherness. loved this work Sayanti 🙂


Very nice loved to read it, congrats on the new site, have you moved to org